Christmas 2020 brought about a lot of changes that had many of us appreciating the comforts of home, hunkering down with a few close family members, and enjoying a more relaxed atmosphere.
We had to give up the string of back-to-back gatherings, the mad crowds at the mall, and endless festive meals. We were saved from exuberant flights and tourist traps and instead sat around the tree, baked a pie, and chatted with neighbours.
This year, it seems the frenzy has started to return, and we have been headed back to patterns of over-committing, extra spending, and being pulled in many directions.
The changes in our world have slowly and consistently tested our resilience. For those who have trauma, sick family members, financial stress, or mental health challenges, this holiday pressure can provoke anxiety, withdrawal, and in some cases, meltdowns or panic attacks.
This year, rather than getting caught up in the desire to get it all done and meet everyone’s expectations, how about we set intentions to enjoy the season. Setting intentions lets you consider what you’d like to get out of an experience. When you set intentions, you begin to recognize that some actions won’t pay off the way you hoped. Intentions let you prioritize and let go of the little things. Intentions help you achieve your desired experience.
Here are a few questions to ponder as you make your lists, confirm your plans, and run out to buy more things.
- How do I want to feel during the holidays?
- What’s most important to me this year?
- What can I do differently this year to make it great?
- How can I show people how much I care about them without spending a lot?
- What can I say no to or choose to do less of to alleviate stress?
- How can I make this December the best December ever?
I set intentions to spend quality time with family and friends. Gifts are experiences we share together — like spa treatments, dinners, and art classes. Gatherings are focused on fun (often with a game or silly activity). Giving includes a family in our community that needs help. And time off has space for me to reflect on how lucky I am for the people, opportunities, and experiences I’ve had this year.
If you have kids, this is a great time to teach them how valuable they are by encouraging them to give their time and energy to those in need. When kids recognize their value and worth, they are happier, have improved social skills, and are more appreciative about what they have. All too often, I see teens who are isolated, depressed, and stressed, searching for their purpose. Making a difference in someone’s life is the antidote.
Here are some ways for kids to give back in our community:
- Shovel someone’s driveway or sidewalk. There are so many people who would appreciate this: seniors, new parents, someone who is unable to shovel for physical reasons, a single parent.
- Volunteer. There are many options during the holidays and beyond. Reach out to a local organization and find out how you can help.
- Donate. This might be in the form of money or goods.
- Offer babysitting or caregiver time. Many families would love to have an hour or two to run errands or have a few minutes for self-care.
- Make a meal for someone. This might be for a grieving family, who has limited time due to family circumstances. Or maybe just for a neighbour or friend to show you care.
- “Elf” someone. Burlington’s Kilbride community has been “Elfing” each other for years. They anonymously drop a bag of goodies off at someone’s door with a note that says, “You’ve been Elfed — pass it on!” Sharing holiday treats with your neighbours is a great way to make someone feel cared for.
- Give “I owe you” coupons for Christmas. Offer to help with shopping, dog walking, or social media instructions. Let kids feel how great it is to help someone out.
Perhaps we can take the changes from last year and the pressures from this year and set some new intentions for holidays for years to come. Take time to relax, enjoy the little things, and show others in our community we care, all the while helping someone in need and reminding ourselves what the holidays are truly about.
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Gina Faubert is a life coach and director of Radiant Girls. Her programs inspire girls to develop healthy and happy life skills during their formative years. Their events combine fun wellness activities with empowering coaching to build a positive self-image, emotional intelligence, and strong leadership skills. Find out more at www.radiantgirls.ca.
