Writing a blog, producing funny, educational YouTube videos, appearing in campaigns to raise awareness about cervical cancer, petitioning Ellen DeGeneres to appear on her show, raising a toddler: imagine doing all of this while dealing with stage 4 cancer. But that was Christa Wilkin for you. Professor Christa Wilkin, at that.
Though Christa passed away as a result of cancer on April 6, 2020, at home in Burlington, her legacy remains strong, through her family, the community of cancer survivors and thrivers, and her digital footprint. Perhaps not surprising, given that this was a woman who wrote her own eulogy (while on a plane coming back from a wedding, no less), planned out where she wanted to die and who was to be there, and what was to happen to her body (donated to medical education and research, to help a future doctor learn the skills needed to save someone’s life or to advance cancer treatments).
Before that, however, Christa was a tenured professor at York University. She received her M.A. and Ph.D. from McMaster University. Her husband Chris (no typos here — as Christa said, “Yes, [we’re] Christa and Chris”), who she met while they both worked as SARS screeners at Southlake Hospital in Newmarket, also attended McMaster. They enjoyed playing ultimate frisbee, both even playing at the Canadian Ultimate Championships. At their wedding, which took place on the McMaster campus, Chris ran ahead and Christa threw a frisbee down the aisle to him.
Christa’s mother, Cathy Wilkinson, shares that before that, even as a child, Christa’s core qualities of empathy, kindness, wanting to help others, and wanting to do her best at everything she did already were evident to everyone who met her. Early report cards talk about Christa’s bubbly and happy personality, enthusiasm for learning, and how she helped and inspired her classmates. Cathy remembers a time when Christa “got in a bit of trouble” in kindergarten — for hugging little friends when she was meant to be practicing active listening.
Though she always wanted to do well in all areas of school, writing was something Christa took particular care in — Cathy has copies of books Christa put together in school, with covers, title pages, and comment sections for friends’ reviews. Later, Christa excelled in high school business classes, leading to her pursuing diplomas and degrees in human resources, blending her love of business, helping people, and writing, as she went on to complete her Ph.D. and then research, write, and teach at the university level. Christa’s research interests included employee wellness and employment relationships; again, that underlying desire to help others is present, even in her professional life.
Christa made tenure at York University in 2016, at age 32. That year turned out to be one of many significant events for Christa and Chris, as Christa learned that she had cancer on the day she gave birth to her and Chris’ son, Austin, on June 16, 2016. Christa had no symptoms of cancer, so her son’s premature birth at 33 weeks led to the discovery of the cervical tumour with lymph node involvement. Treatment ensued, and the cancer stabilized.
In April 2018, Christa’s cancer had spread to her lungs. By then, Christa had already begun her blog, Nevertheless She Persisted. There, she wrote in a post, “I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. Treat me the same as you normally would, unless, that is, you currently treat me badly.” That blend of forthrightness and humour permeates Christa’s writing.
That same blend can be found in the Cancer Mommies YouTube channel created by Christa and her dear friend Kate Fraser, where their videos take on such topics as infertility due to cancer, support and finances, how to talk to kids about cancer, being proactive about your own health, and “filling up your cup” — that is, making sure your spirit or energy is fueled before helping others, because “you can’t pour from an empty cup.”
These YouTube videos and blog posts transcend cancer, much of the content is applicable to everyone: self-care, living with purpose, overcoming challenges. Emotional awareness and empathy are laced throughout the videos and Christa’s writing, either implicitly or explicitly; Chris says that these, too, are part of Christa’s legacy in that she instilled both into their son. Christa’s eyes would light up talking about Austin’s kindness and helpfulness (“…I know everyone says this about their kid, but my kid really is the best!”). At just 6 years old, Austin’s report cards are already filled with anecdotes from teachers talking about how empathetic he is. Like mother, like son.
Christa lived by her own advice. At a March 2020 Pink Pearl retreat in Niagara for young women affected by cancer (just before the first COVID lockdown), Christa turned up, though very ill at that point and requiring an oxygen machine — and she’d taken the time (and energy, which is in short supply for most cancer patients) to choose and bring with her a few little inside-joke gifts for some of the other attendees, friends she’d made at previous retreats.
She surrounded herself with supportive people. Cathy notes, “I think that’s why she remained so happy, uplifting, and positive” — even when cancer was throughout Christa’s body and brain, even post brain-surgery, and through to the end. The support and love Christa got from her family and friends allowed her to continue beaming her light out to others, through the YouTube videos, blog posts, and personal relationships. A book of Christa’s writings and resources for those with cancer is forthcoming, with all proceeds going to charity; Cathy says, “Christa never wanted anything for herself, she always wanted to help others.”
Christa’s celebration of life was held in August of this year at the Paletta Lakefront Park, delayed because of COVID. This was another thing that she’d planned, as she wasn’t a fan of funerals, as evidenced by one of her blog posts: “I would prefer a celebration of life where there is a crap-ton of alcohol and people swapping amusing stories, and a few tears, about me. Oh and music. Good music.”
Chris reports that Christa got what she wanted in that respect. Family, friends, former professors and co-workers gathered to celebrate Christa. Cousins came from the east and west coasts of Canada. The kids had a special play area outfitted with soccer balls and frisbees; Austin commented, “everyone knows my name!” His mother’s celebration helped make him feel special, too.
Christa may have got the last word in at her celebration of life, too. Chris says that Guinness had been special-ordered in for the celebration, and he told the bartender that he’d be there at the end to have one. A playlist had been playing special songs all afternoon, but right at 3 p.m., when Chris went to have that last drink, “Better Together” by Jack Johnson, Chris and Christa’s wedding song, came on — a lovely gift to Chris and a fitting close to the celebration of life for Christa Wilkin, a woman who sincerely believed in the power of helping others, of togetherness.
Local-news.ca will be pleased to share more details on Christa’s book once it is available to purchase. Organizations that were helpful to Christa over the course of her journey with cancer include Wellspring Cancer Support Centre (Oakville’s Birmingham Gilgan House), and Pink Pearl Canada. These organizations rely on donations to continue to support cancer patients with free programs; if you are so moved, please consider donating.
Sources (and previous articles on Christa Wilkin):
Adams, C. June 26, 2018. Mom with terminal cancer plans to give family “a roadmap” for her death”: “It gives me comfort.” Yahoo. Url: https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/mom-terminal-cancer-plans-family-211028292.html (accessed Sept. 11, 2022).
Wilkin, C. 2018. Cancer-stricken woman bravely plans for her own death: “Give your loved ones a roadmap.” Love What Matters. Url: https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/cancer-stricken-woman-bravely-plans-for-her-own-death-give-your-loved-ones-a-roadmap/ (accessed Sept. 11, 2022).
Wilkin, C. 2018–2020. Nevertheless She Persisted. Blog. Url: https://nevertheless419789336.wordpress.com/ (accessed Sept. 11, 2022).
Wilkin, C. The love and sorrow of having cancer and being an infertile patient. Rethink Breast Cancer. https://rethinkbreastcancer.com/the-love-and-sorrow-of-having-cancer-and-being-an-infertile-parent/ (accessed Sept. 18, 2022).
Yanchus, K. June 24, 2019. Young Burlington moms: “Cancer doesn’t play by the rules and neither do we.” Burlington Post/Inside Halton. Url: https://www.insidehalton.com/community-story/9518280-young-burlington-moms-cancer-doesn-t-play-by-the-rules-and-neither-do-we-/ (accessed Sept. 11, 2022).
